First blog post

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I need Thee, oh! I need Thee..

When I am down in the gutters and I cant seem to find my way.I need Thee, oh! I need Thee…

When I am up on the hilltop and I am screaming success.I need Thee, oh!, I need Thee…

When I struggle with my demons and Im fighting to get out..I need Thee, oh!, I need Thee..

When I am triumphant and I am dancing and stepping out seemingly unencumbered..I need Thee, oh!, I need Thee…

Full circle I have come in this maze that we call Life..We roll along sometimes feeling as if : Wow! Life cant get any better or Wow…when will this ever ends?

How we deal with the hands that we are dealt with in life is how we write that narrative that speaks to those choices; but one thing I am sure whatever story that I pen and in every step of my Moment of Truths..I Need Thee, Oh! I Need Thee!!!

Im so good…

I struggle to find words just to say how I feel but you chose to walk away before I could formulate the words…but Im so good.

I smile when I see that you have moved on without even batting an eye on the love that we had shared..but Im so good..

I watch as you love on that person the way you use to love on me..but Im so good.

I hurt as I stand and see you hold and touch that someone else the way you use to touch me..but im so good…

Now you stand before me begging me to forgive and forget, You claim you made a mistake by being too hasty in your decision and that all along, I was The One…

Boy, I have struggled, smiled, watched and hurt on my own until I learnt how to stand on my feet without You and I have found that I love that feeling..

So You!! I Am So Good, Really Good,without you!!

Boy Bye!!!

..Author Unknown

I am taking control of me..

I am taking control of me..this baby who was ripped from her mother’s arms..she cried all the way into the country side while on her way to be with her father’s mom..it is said that my aunt was so embarassed because of how I cried without a break all the way home…

I am taking control of me..this young girl who makes friends but still finds herself on the outside of the circle because of the secrets she held..secrets that could destroy so many but set her free..

I am taking control of me..this young woman searching for who she is..so lost, wandering in a sea of chaos.,

I am taking control..of this woman..she has been through so much..shes been used, abuse and let go but yet still she finds herself clawing, clawing out of this unfortunate situation. The only thing that kept her and her will..is knowing and clutching to the belief that one day things will get better. ..

I am taking control of me..because I love me..I realized that ME is who I want Me to be..

I am taking control of me..because it is time to be..ME!!

This butterfly is breaking free…

This butterfly is breaking free…free from all that has been holding her back, free from the past..

This butterfly is breaking free…free from the negativity that was thrown her way and she fell for it..

This butterfly is breaking free…from the whatifs, mighthavebeens, couldhavebeens..taking control of her life and transfoming it into itis….

This butterfly is breaking free…to live life outside of that box that society created for me.

This butterfly is breaking free…free to scream, run and dance to the beat of my own drums..

This butterfly is breaking free….And it feels AWESOME! !!

I walked away..thought I had lost!!!

I walked away thinking I was a failure, thinking that I could never be that greatness I set out to be, thinking that, saying I am my best self is a cliche; thought I had lost…

I walked away believing that I could never do or be anything better, thinking I am apart of this statistics, falling below that hideous line; thought I had lost…

I walked being so disappointed in myself but still believing I did my best, which was such I lie; thought I had lost..

I walked away afraid of looking in the mirror because I was scared of what I would see-a weak failed excuse for a person; thought I had lost…

I walked away just to find out I did it just to regroup and come back to recognize and validate my greatness, finally living my best self because truth be told I am authentic…I could do better and I did, I was never apart of that so-called statistics, there was never any line because I was never behind any..

I walked back to that mirror and I stared her down and what I saw was a great, fulfilled, beautiful image looking back at me..

I walked away not to lose but to come back and claim my victory, my trophy and my crown!!!!

Its so hard..yet so easy

Its so hard to think about my successes because they have been so few and far between

Yet so easy to think about my failures because I feel like one everyday…

Its so hard to make plans for the future because everything I plan or touch dies

Yet so easy to wake up and live in limbo and take it as the day gives because that means I will not be killing anything….

Its so hard to get up and face each day because there is nothing for me to do, only doing the same thing over and over and over

Yet so easy to daydream about the plans I have that need to be put in place, the trips and places I need to go….

Its so hard to get myself to open this page and just write my thoughts down that flows through like a angry river

Yet so easy to think that I want to start writing to relieve myself of this dark cloud that is always in plain waiting waiting to swallow me up….

Its so hard…I recognize and know what I need to do

Yet so easy to say..Tomorrow..I Will….